Recovery Nuggies: I quit
On the end of my career working with eating disorders.
Hello Friends! It’s been a bit since I posted Recovery Nuggies. At the turn of the new year I had a ton of social plans whilst preparing for a big life change. Then in February I got a brain bonk and have been especially behind.
As of February I left my job working as an eating disorder dietitian. I’ve been working as an EDRD for six years, and on-and-off with eating disorders for over eleven years. The last week of work was not what I expected - limited to 30-minute, camera-off appointments while recovering from a concussion. The endeavor of properly tying up twentyish cases felt overwhelming but ended up being a great opportunity for all of my folks to reflect on their journeys. I wanted to share some of the nuggies that came up the past few weeks in hopes that it will help other folks in recovery.
Recovery Nuggies
It’s normal for some bodies to undereat in response to stress, but it obviously isn’t sustainable. If you know a stressful event is coming up, make modifications in your routine that help you prioritize nourishment.
In the face of stress, if you can’t tell whether your food choice is influenced by the ED or your healthy self: The ED permits and encourages restriction. The healthy self practices flexibility to support adequacy.
Folks in recovery have a long, hard job. Your growth now will look different than your growth in the future. Do not confuse a plateau or pause with the belief that it’s not possible to recover. It is absolutely possible to recovery.
Feeling secure in recovery may take a few years after cessation of ED thoughts and behaviors. New food situations may arise that might challenge you. That does not discount your progress. Continue to be brave and proactive!
Sometimes, we can be super secure in recovery and face a completely unpredictable trigger for relapse (Covid-19 pandemic was a great example!) That does not define your progress. You are simply human.
Generally, our body’s energy sustains itself when we eat balanced meals/snacks (carbs, protein, fat, fruit/veg) every 3-5 hours. Although you may have to or want to change this exact routine based on your life, appetite, metabolism, and work schedule. It is okay for the structure of your plate to vary from one meal to the next as long as the variation ultimately supports your energy.
Weird food & body stuff will come up for the rest of life but your ability to pause, reflect, and observe will serve you.
My own personal reflection
In the past few years, my clients have obviously taught me a lot. When I started working with eating disorders, I was young (still am), naive, and self-righteous. (I’m so grateful to now have a fully-formed pre-frontal cortex and a job that humbled me.) But when I started this work, I didn’t have a lot of hope. I was angry. Honestly, like a lot of new ED providers, I had a hypervigilance toward people who perpetuated eating disorder behaviors that was completely undeserved.1
Yes. Undeserved!!
People do what they know. They respond how they’ve been conditioned to respond. They believe what their environment reinforces. They are designed to keep themselves safe with the tools they likely learned at a very young age. People just want to feel safe in an unsafe world. And people come to us ED clinician’s to give them more effective knowledge and skills to feel safe and flexible. Aren’t we lucky to have that power?
The greatest thing my clients have taught me is that you can heal at any stage of life. You can heal from any starting point. The end of your healing journey might look different than the end of someone else’s healing journey and that’s not only ok, but doesn’t make your healing journey any less successful. I am so grateful for the clients and clients parents who taught me humility. Who opened themselves to ideas that directly opposed their core beliefs. They taught me how to step outside my own fears and connect with people whom I otherwise would have found threatening. Everyone deserves respect.2 Everyone deserves compassion and understanding. Everyone has their own story and deserves a space in which they can be scared, sad, angry, joyful, resistant, and curious all at the same time. Without that space and patience from another, how can we expect anyone to feel safe enough to grow?
I am truly grateful for every client and support person that I’ve worked with over the years. You’ve taught me how to be a human amongst other humans.
My career with eating disorders is effectively over. As much as I’ve loved being able to watch people grow into more authentic versions of themselves, my brain is ready to be stimulated in a different way. However, my writing about eating disorders likely won’t end anytime soon. (My copy of Holy Anorexia is still overdue from the library and it looks DOPPEEE!) My substack will continue to be filled with posts that explore how social history influences the way one treats ones body and food.
XOXO,
Stephanie
I’m talking about individual, normal people. Not rich people who capitalize off perpetuating harmful diet beliefs. *eh-hem, Gwen*.
Maybe except RFK Jr. and Elon Musk who deserve the utmost disrespect.